“If I ever see you with a boy like that, it’s going to be your hide." -Momma

Boys are a touchy subject if you are a female in the South. While I would imagine that it is safe to bet that the majority of girls in the world grew up living by "The Rules
and some kind of parental opinion of how dating would go, they aren't from down here, and haven't ever experienced "Mommas Rules."
They begin with the break down of what types of boys are acceptable to date.

• Good ole' boy: he is acceptable to date; he comes from a good family, he attends church on a regular basis, he doesn't act out, or behave in a way that would embarass his momma.
• Redneck boy: he is on the cusp of what is and what isn't acceptable; while he comes from a good family , and attends church on a regular basis, he also has a bit of a wild streak. What dictates whether or not you are allowed to date him hinges on one thing; how he behaves when he meets your momma.
• Po' white trash boy: he is completely unacceptable to date; he may or may not come from a good family; he may or may not attend church on a regular basis, what makes him po' white trash isn't the fact that he is literally poor, it's how he acts. His behavior is typically the rowdy, bar room kind, and he uses fould language in front of ladies

Once you have found a suitor thta falls into one of the appropriate categories, it is time to review the list of Mommas rules before dating him.

Mommas Rules

1. You may not date until you are sixteen.
2. You may not date a boy that isn't in your age bracket.
3. You may not go to a party that doesn't have adult supervision.
4. You may not go out with a boy until your parents have met him and deem him worthy of your time.
5. When you dress to go on a dat, your outfit must be pre-approved. (To quote momma, "If you think you are showing skin or cleavage, you are very wrong, young lady.")
6. When he arrives to pick you up he must come to the door, and speak with your parents. Honking the horn for you isn't acceptable.
7. You date will be questioned on the following: Who are your parents? Which church do you attend? Which denomination is it? What sports do you play? Where will you be attending college? Where will you be taking out daughter? Will it be in a well lit area with plenty of adult supervision? What time will you be bringing our daughter home?
8. You are to return home at the agreed upon time and no later.
9. If you, Heaven forbid, return home later than the agreed upon time, you had better have a darn good reason.
10. When you return home, you may say your good nights until momma flashes the front porch light off on, then it is time to come inside.
11. When you come inside, momma will be waiting up for you and you will tell her what you did, where you were, and who else was there.

Some of my mommas' favorite things to tell me as I was getting ready for a date were, "keep a penny between your legs." (In other words, don't be a hussy and spread your legs for a boy.") And of course, "remember, just because I can't see you doesn't mean Jesus can't."